Archive for self-help

Dealing With Negative People…

Posted in Sharing with tags , , , on 2011/08/12 by R L Burns

My mom sent me this today and I thought it was sooo good that I needed to share.  Enjoy!


This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade.  So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable…

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: 

“Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there?  It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?” 

“We’re taking BA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!”   

“BA?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?” 

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”   

“Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.” 

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it…” 

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of BA’s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.   

And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a £5 million remodelling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!” 

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I bet you didn’t get to see the Pope.”   

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.   

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me” 

“Oh, really!  What’d he say ?”   

He said: “Who the Fuck did your hair?”

Response I Received to “Twin Souls of Discontent”

Posted in Sharing with tags , , , , on 2010/04/18 by R L Burns

I received the following in response to my “Twins Souls of Discontent” stream-of-consciousness-bore-you-to-tears recent post.  It came from someone close to me who has known me forever, knew him, and was aware of the current situation.  After I wrote the piece, I sent it to her to ask if it made sense…

I decided to share her reply because…well, over recent months, as I have whinged on and on about my depression, I have heard from many people who have been through similar circumstances.  I have read things that let me know other people have faced the same demons which I have faced (and still do).  Many wonderful people have said many wonderful, kind, helpful things to me, including the person who sent me the piece below.  But somehow, maybe it’s the timing, these words, while they made me sad, also truly helped me, in some weird way, put things into a better perspective and I have truly felt quite a bit better since I read them.  I am sharing them in the hope that perhaps they will be meaningful to someone who finds themselves caught in the same mental trap…

“Pay it forward”, isn’t that a good rule to live by?

Yes it makes sense.

Only one problem with your story: I do not believe you were the only betrayal  or infidelity he committed in 25 years.  That fucking guy is a fucking liar and then some. Please don’t romanticize his character so much.  He lies daily and now has even more to hide from those around him. You on the other hand are being, and have been, very honest and straight forward about your feelings and previous intentions. They were REAL to you absolutely and without a doubt. So that said, remember:  he hasn’t really come in person to you when he had the chance.  Instead, he threw it away and cast it aside and ran as fast as he could..

He does not define you.  He was a part of your time on earth.

Learn that liars cannot be trusted no matter how terrific you think they are. They are incapable of being honest.

He is still lying his ass off to his family and friends. 

He lives a LIE.

You can keep acting like he destroyed you, but his own fucking words were, and I quote, “IT WAS ALL A LIE” .  Believe that for a flipping change okay?  I know it is hard because he was so damn convincing; but most liars are very good at it and that’s no accident. They practice their craft like athletes exercise.

Do not buy the fucking lie from the fucking guy he tells them to everyone: oh I’m dying….I’m so unhappy here… marriage has been a lie ….my son is suicidal…I’m suicidal….I want to be a teacher….You cant go to work today with me because…….

Oh yeah, because  I am a fucking A-list liar and you have made my dreams come true by being here but I have no guilt as a shameless liar.   I will lie to myself and tell myself that this was all your idea and you better stop now???


Parts of it were true but he’s right about it being a lie to him and then in turn,  to you.

YOU ARE WAY TOO GOOD FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s time for you to run away from his bullshit and stop blaming yourself for being conned by the conman.

I love you forever! NO LIE!!


Please Use Your Inside Voice

Posted in life story, Poetry, Ramblings with tags , , , , on 2010/01/23 by R L Burns

I can hear you, Michael…                                                                                                                                                                                              

You are sooooo loud today

Was it that you weren’t comfortable with living?

I mean,

If you’re a liar

And your life is a lie, and

Then you end up with someone 

Who can make it true, maybe

You can’t handle it because

You are so stuck in your lying-lie-face world…

You become confused, then,

Because you no longer know

What is true

And what is the lie…

So you do nothing except continue

To torture those around you

To whom you have always lied.

I wanted to help you

Did everything I could possibly

Do to help you want to live:

Stay there, come here,

Teach, repair things,

Run about with your hair on fire.

Your choice.

You said you were – and had been for so long – unhappy,

Miserable, dejected, depressed, suicidal, even.

I happily accepted the responsibility

For you,

For them,

For us.

Are you unhappy now?

I love you with all that I am

But I can’t fix any of this for you –

You won’t let me…

And you won’t fix it yourself, either.

How do you go on?

How do you live with all the lies –

Not just to me, but to those you hold most dear?

Please use your inside voice.

The pain rolling off of you

And onto me

Is crippling.

I love you enough to respect your wishes,

Love you enough to let you make mistakes.

I am here if you want me, Michael.

All you have to do is reach out.

Nothing has changed that…

Nothing  can, apparently.

But as Joe Walsh once said…

“You bought it, you name it.”