Archive for illness

Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA)

Posted in life story with tags , , , on 2010/03/29 by R L Burns

transient ischemic attack                                                   

ever heard of that?                                                                   

a “mini stroke” they call it –

but what a long name!

a blockage in the brain

causes great pain –

your vision is blurred , or even doubled

and your speech becomes troubled –

your memory deserts you

like so many others have done –

you confuse those around you

can barely walk, let alone run.


anticoagulants are the prescribed fix –

nothing like rat poison to

add to the mix….


but am i still me?

and who will ever want me now???


** sorry for the continuous pity party – promise to get over it soon!!

The Sleestak are Coming!

Posted in Poetry, Ramblings, Uncategorized with tags , , , on 2010/02/26 by R L Burns

the sounds  of the sea

roll over me, but  

the squiggles and squaims,

the flinkers and games –

are all so confusing to me


what is up?  what is down?

crying faces dispensing frowns

jabberwocky, jabberwocky,


witchiepoo, lidsville,

captain caveman and

thundarr the barbarian —

look out!  the sleestak are coming!

mr. flibble is very cross and cries out,



nothing makes sense

to a mind unable to rest

a mind hoplelessly trapped

in a bottle — ha ha ha

mind bottling, ain’t it?


a strange thing happens

when you find out you

truly are mentally ill…


joxer, the mighty, he’s very tidy –

you are not a jedi yet –

dem bones, dem bones –

didn’t that blow your mind? 

THAT just happened!


or did it? 

Does it ever end??

Posted in life story, Ramblings with tags , , , , on 2010/01/25 by R L Burns

really, you’d think, after all the past years of being ill that i would be used to it.  you’d think that – but you’d be wrong. 

you’d think, that after all the surgeries and visits to the very door of death over the past nine years i would no longer be surprised.  you’d think that – but you’d be wrong.

for days now, a massive, horrifyingly horrible headache has raged through my head.  the worst headache i have had in years — and i’ve had a few doozys! (is that even really a word or just something aunt bea used to say on the andy griffith show?)  my neck has been stiff, my vision blurry; lights and sounds are crushing.  but the pain was all over, not centered to one side like a normal migraine.  no pain killer in my fairly large arsenal even touched it. so today i went to the doctor.  couldn’t stand it anymore.

probably a migraine she said as she shot me up with toridol.  ah, at last, a little relief.  but maybe not, she muttered. 

she gave me somed scripts and a couple of samples and sent me home with a note for work to stay home tomorrow, too.  if my headache isn’t better tomorrow, it’s off to the imaging place i go for an mri – let’s just make sure it’s not an aneurysm or anything else…whatever.

how could everything in my life have been turning around to wonderful just a little over a year ago and now, it’s all gone back to shit?  i don’t get it.

i bought three silver charms yesterday and put them on a new silver chain.  now on my neck i still have my jillion-year-old ankh that HE gave me and another chain holding my new charms (in order): a guitar, a drum kit, and a guitar.  to represent “the band”….how retarded am i?  pretty retarded, i know.

i’m done complaining for now.  maybe.