Archive for hopeless

Acid Rain

Posted in Poetry, Ramblings with tags , , on 2011/04/27 by R L Burns

it melts

like the snow…

until only muddied puddles remain

 

once so pure

so white

so clean

now nothing

but dirt

ugliness

and sorrow –

 

it  melts

like the  snow…

burning, decimating, acid rain


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Crunch

Posted in Poetry, Ramblings with tags , , on 2011/04/27 by R L Burns

A muted smile
Mud covered shoes
Old Howlin’ Wolf is
Crying the blues

I join right in
‘Cuz I can’t find
The joy in my heart
The calm in my mind

The crunch of the tires
On the deeply packed snow
The warmth of the heater –
I can’t feel it blow

The trees in their lovely
Diaphanous gowns
Bend their knees as we pass
Through each little town

We turn on the highway,
The one that leads home
My heart starts racing
As if it has known,

All along,

This is the last ride.



Illusion

Posted in life story, Poetry with tags , , , on 2010/07/13 by R L Burns
Howling and crying, endlessly, pleadingly, then an

author: crisscross992000 (photobucket)

Abrupt disruption of the force: the wolf went silent, and a
Primal, powerful, pain-filled oppression

Permeated her perforated, threadbare soul; her

Yesterdays the only days that now have any meaning.

 

 

Breached, broken, beaten and scarred by the

Inevitable end of the illusion, she is left

Remote, reclusive, restrained and afraid

To even think of what was, what could have been – she is

Hopeless, sleepless, heartsick and heavily dependent on

Drugs, dreams, duty and the ones who harmed her before he did; she

Advertises her shame and her pain incessantly, yet unintentionally…

You need only look into her empty eyes to know she is gone.

 

 

There is

Nothing left of her, nothing

At all.

Another Plaintive Cry for Help

Posted in Ramblings with tags , , , , on 2010/06/07 by R L Burns

From her journal – Midnight two nights ago

the wolf no longer howls outside my door

and the silence is deafening

i am so very lonely

can’t sleep again

feeling so agitated

so scared

so sad

so confused

the silence is scary

my reflection in the mirror scared me

i feel sick

the light is off and i am writing by the glow of the tv

“after the thin man” is on

i feel truly demented

want to bang my head into the wall

cut open my chest and my wrists

my knees hurt

ny feet hurt

i want to screeeeaaaammmmmm

al’s not here so i did

but it didn’t help

why did this happen?

why did the only person i ever believed in

turn out to be a

big, fat, fucking, using,

creepy, fat, stupid, selfish,

loser-y, fucking, jerky,

gay, tasteless, stupid

FUCKING LIAR????

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

IN MY WHOLE DAMN FUCKING LIFE

and why can’t

I QUIT FUCKING CARING??

he used me to help himself get better

like they all do and have done forever and always.

why?

i guess i pick “broken” people cuz they’ll need me,

so i think they won’t leave me…

but they always do. 

charley, gramp, mater, grandma,

mom, dad, mike o., paul, ken, bill and…

HIM.

i don’t understand. 

my head hurts. 

it’s pounding

just like my heart.

should i go back to the hospital?

help me, please.