liar, user, cheater,
crumb bum, jerk…
people say those words to me
but somehow my mind won’t
accept them when it comes to him.
somehow i still believe there was a
reasonable reasoning for how this played out…
sometimes, though, the words get loud
and scream in my head —
LIAR! USER! JERK!
EVIL! TWISTED! CRUEL!
they scream and they won’t stop, so
i take some meds
which can be a good thing except
on a night like tonight when my mind is
soooo ativan-addlepated that,
before i even knew what i was doing,
my left wrist was bleeding from three or four cuts,
along with a slash on my left thigh.
nothing too drastic, i mean,
i am a weenie, you know…it aches though.
i put on some polysporin and a bandage…
hopefully the marks will fade before i go
to school again monday…
you know, cutting is stupid.
i still don’t get why i would do it…