I Don’t Deserve Her
I don’t deserve her,
But I thank God for her,
My Princess, My Lady.
Her smile thrills me
Her kisses still me
Her touch destroys me —
The love in her eyes
As nothing else can.
I’m the world’s biggest loser –
And yet, she loves me,
No matter what stupendously idiotic
Thing I do –
No matter how often I desert her,
Run away from her,
Blame her for all the ills in my life.
She sees inside me, to my core –
Her ability to do so terrifies me,
For from her alone I cannot hide – She
Knows I am weak and afraid,
A true coward and frighteningly cruel,
Untrustworthy and unreliable –
At least when it comes to her –
She cries at night, alone in her bed
And lives without me
For years at a time…
And yet, each time I call to her,
Each time I crawl to her on bended knee,
Each time I beg her forgiveness
And profess my love for her anew —
She doesn’t recoil.
Instead, she opens her arms to me,
Holds me and loves me with all that she is,
Builds me up – asking nothing in return –
And then silently fades away,
A trembling smile of encouragement on her face
To patiently wait for my next return.
No matter how long it takes.
I don’t deserve her at all —
And she certainly deserves better than me —
But I think I would die if she no longer loved me,
If I could not believe that she is out there,
Waiting for me still.
I am the biggest,