Life From the Perspective of a Piece of Trash
When you ball up that hamburger wrapper and toss it towards the trash can — he shoots, he scores, the crowd goes wild! — do you ever consider the feelings of the wrapper as it sails through the unknown; how it feels when it lands, bruised and confused, in a dark, lonely hole filled with foul-smelling odors? Ever wonder if that wrapper is wondering what it did to be left, forgotten, abandoned in a dank trash bin?
No? Well, let me enlighten you: it is sad. It feels like the guy in the movie “Scanners” before his head explodes. It is filled with self-loathing, berating itself over and over for whatever it was that it did to cause you to hate it, to destroy it without a thought.
How do I know this? Because I have been that wrapper.
Like that wrapper, I have given my life (more than once, sad to say) to others, doing all within my power to keep their food warm, bug-free, and fresh. And yet, no matter how hard I try, I always seem to end up in the trash can confused, alone and abandoned; never knowing why. It’s scary in the dark alone where I cannot find a way out. I am left purposeless and full of pain. Beyond that, there are monsters out there who love nothing better than to put discarded items in a masher. The metal arms of the masher cut and tear me to bits.
Even though I twist myself into a myriad of shapes to fit any hot (or cold) sandwich “they” desire, it’s never enough. Some other, prettier, flashier, thicker wrapper always takes my place. I don’t understand, though, why they use me until I am full of holes, my edges totally frayed, and I am no longer good for anything. Where’s the respect for the poor little hamburger wrapper? Maybe instead of the guy from “Scanners”, I’m really more like Rodney Dangerfield — you know, “I can’t get no respect!”
Somehow it just seems wrong.
Next time you throw away a hamburger wrapper, etc., be kind to it. Tell it good-bye and thank it for all it has done for you. Is that too much to ask? Maybe fold it neatly and place it gently in the trash. Better yet, save it, keep it with you, let it prove its usefulness before just carelessly tossing it aside for the next wrapper you come across.
You know what? I think I will start an After-Care program for abused and discarded hamburger wrappers. Crushed soda cans, french fry containers, coffee cups — any used container will be welcome. I think I’ll call it Abused Wrappers Anonymous.
Eminem and Vanilla Ice need not apply. 🙂