Why I Hate March
march comes in like a lion and
goes out like a lamb they say.
to me, march will forever be
a time of darkness, death, and pain.,
even though i was also married in that month…
was happier in that moment than i had ever been.
overshadowing my happiness, though, is that
in some bizarre cosmic twist of fate
the two men who have meant the most to me
died in march
on the same day
in the same year
within an hour of each other
for one of those deaths i was there
by his side, holding his hand
crying with his family
the other…i didn’t know about
until nine years later —
although i dreamed it, saw the shadows
dancing in glee, pulling him down –
saw him give in
back then i thought –
as i often have when it comes to my dreams –
that i just imagined it because
i was already in such a sad state…
imagined my subconcious to be conjuring
the worst possible scenario ever
in an effort to lessen the reality i was facing…
i was wrong.
thankfully the dreamt of death
was reversed – he was sent back to earth –
mom joked he was returned because
he truly loved me and was being given another chance.
stupidly i believed her.
the joke was on me.
i hate march…a lot.