Why I Hate March

march comes in like a lion and

goes out like a lamb they say.


to me, march will forever be

a time of darkness, death, and pain.,

even though i was also married in that month…

was happier in that moment than i had ever been.


overshadowing my happiness, though, is that 

in some bizarre cosmic twist of fate

the two men who have meant the most to me

died in march

on the same day

in the same year

within an hour of each other


for one of those deaths i was there

by his side, holding his hand

crying with his family


the other…i didn’t know about

until nine years later —

although i dreamed it, saw the shadows

dancing in glee, pulling him down –

saw him give in


back then i thought  –

as i often have when it comes to my dreams –

that i just imagined it because

i was already in such a sad state…

imagined my subconcious to be conjuring

the worst possible scenario ever

in an effort to lessen the reality i was facing…

i was wrong.


 thankfully the dreamt of death

was reversed – he was sent back to earth –

mom joked he was returned because

he truly loved me and was being given another chance.


stupidly i believed her.


the joke was on me.

as usual.


i hate march…a lot. 


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