Does it ever end??

really, you’d think, after all the past years of being ill that i would be used to it.  you’d think that – but you’d be wrong. 

you’d think, that after all the surgeries and visits to the very door of death over the past nine years i would no longer be surprised.  you’d think that – but you’d be wrong.

for days now, a massive, horrifyingly horrible headache has raged through my head.  the worst headache i have had in years — and i’ve had a few doozys! (is that even really a word or just something aunt bea used to say on the andy griffith show?)  my neck has been stiff, my vision blurry; lights and sounds are crushing.  but the pain was all over, not centered to one side like a normal migraine.  no pain killer in my fairly large arsenal even touched it. so today i went to the doctor.  couldn’t stand it anymore.

probably a migraine she said as she shot me up with toridol.  ah, at last, a little relief.  but maybe not, she muttered. 

she gave me somed scripts and a couple of samples and sent me home with a note for work to stay home tomorrow, too.  if my headache isn’t better tomorrow, it’s off to the imaging place i go for an mri – let’s just make sure it’s not an aneurysm or anything else…whatever.

how could everything in my life have been turning around to wonderful just a little over a year ago and now, it’s all gone back to shit?  i don’t get it.

i bought three silver charms yesterday and put them on a new silver chain.  now on my neck i still have my jillion-year-old ankh that HE gave me and another chain holding my new charms (in order): a guitar, a drum kit, and a guitar.  to represent “the band”….how retarded am i?  pretty retarded, i know.

i’m done complaining for now.  maybe.

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