State of Confusion
That old Kink’s song keeps running through my head — i’m in a state – state! – of confusion – don’t know why i feel so bad – is it the weather or am i going mad? – don’t know why i feel this way – don’t know whether i’m coming or going – can’t cover up, cause it’s obviously showing…
I still love you and still feel so attached to you. So married to you. Even though our “marriage” wasn’t what anyone else would call real. And yet, somedays I hate you.
I believe you really did love me but that you are just a big coward – afraid of your own shadows. And yet, somedays I can’t believe that you really ever loved me at all when you have ignored me so long.
For someone who is such a coward and so weak, you certainly have managed to find the strength to stay away from me. How? It shouldn’t be surprising I suppose, because it’s what you have always done. And yet, I never believed that you could do this after everything that occurred during the past year.
You tell me, and others tell me, how smart I am. How clever. How insightful. And yet, I didn’t know you were lying to me all along.
Yes, I would have to admit that saying I am in a “State of Confusion” is putting it mildly. And yet…it happened.