Marry Me?

“Why don’t we get married?” he asked

As he sat on the footstool staring at me.

“Ex-squeeze me, WHAT?”

Was my confused reply.

“Will you marry me?” he asked –

Actually looking serious.

“Uh…Why would you even ask me

That?” I asked suspiciously, left eyebrow raised.

“Why wouldn’t I?” he smiled.

“Um, because…well…,” I stammered,

“We aren’t in love with each other is one reason.”

“Maybe not, but I love you and I know

You love me a little, and we get along really well…”

“Uh-huh,” I nodded.  “And? You think this

Is a good idea, why, exactly?”

“I think it would be perfect.  We’re older now,

We are both romantics with no romance in our lives…”

“And you think marrying someone with whom

You are not in love is a good way to get romance in your life?”

“I didn’t mean that at all, Rose, you know it. 

I think we could make each other happy, don’t you?”

I shook my head and smiled at him sadly –

I almost wished he was right – almost, but not really.

“Jeffrey, no, I don’t think we would make each other happy.

Actually, we would drive each other insane…”

He started to speak but I held up my hand –

“Please, let me finish, honey….

 I have never been, and never will be cool enough

 Or thin enough for your rock and roll life-style…”

Again he started to speak, but I shook my head.

“I do love you, Jeff, but not like that.  You are my

Great friend and we have had lovely times together

But marriage would never work between us – not at all.

And besides that, I refuse to settle anymore. 

Been there.  Done that.  Twice.  I’ve

Married the absolutely wrong people and didn’t even

Get a cool t-shirt for my troubles….

I am so very flattered that you asked me,

That it even occurred to you that we might be

Happy together, but, no, I think, as

Bartleby the Scrivner would say,

I prefer not.”

He looked at me wistfully, sighed and replied

“I’ll ask you again when you’ve had some time to think.”

Then he left and drove back to Maryland…


How weird was that? 

I mean, I’m funny and all, but marry him? 

Maybe he was high…


2 Responses to “Marry Me?”

  1. HAHAHAHA this cracked me up. I do have a friend who got married because it was “the next step” and because she figured she should be married by now. Im hoping to be the first male cat lady if you ask me. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!

    Maybe he is brutally in love with you, and youre not as much in love with him.

  2. i’m glad it made you laugh. it made me laugh, too, actually. and no, trust me, he is not brutally in love with me or otherwise. he is getting older, being a bass player in a band is no longer as fulfilling as he once found it and he’s lonely…he has known me for over thirty years and he knows i am nothing if not extremely kind, loving and generous…so i am figuring that’s why he asked me. he knows i would really take care of him and love him. but i don’t and i won’t. like i said in the piece: been there. done that.

    thank you for your wonderful comment! it made my day! and good luck with the male cat lady thing!! 🙂

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