Stop Global Whining

I think there are a few people who would really appreciate the t-shirt I once bought my ex-husband.  Printed on it were the words:  STOP GLOBAL WHINING.

Some people have no empathy or sympathy for those still wandering through the muck of what was once our hopeful lives, flailing about, whining, crying, screaming out,

“Why God?  Why?”

Well, I’m sorry for that.  I have never been a whiner in my entire life.  My life has sucked a lot – not as much as others’ lives may have, but bad enough.  And yet, I have never given up, never become bitter, never “closed the iron door” (as John Barrymore would say) on anyone or anything.  No matter if I had cause to do so. I have also made it a point, my entire life, to be a peacemaker, to stand up for the underdog, to help anyone at anytime in any way I could.  If you knew me at all, you would know that.  But you don’t. 

So why am I saying any of this?  No one will care.  But…

I am tired of rudeness.  I am tired of lies.  I don’t understand what is happening in my world – in the whole world.  My faith has always led me to believe that doing what is good for others is what is the right thing to do.  That sometimes, nice guys DON’T finish last.

My experiences in much of life have shown me just the opposite.  Every firm belief and truth I have ever held dear has been ripped away from me in the past year.  The truth of love, of friendship, of “what goes around, comes around”, treat others as you wish to be treated, etc….and I am angry.  And now I feel myself becoming bitter, and I hate it.  I don’t know how to stop it.  I write here – or perhaps more to the point, I WHINE here – because I was told writing was good therapy.  Because, oddly enough, some people have actually been sympathetic and empathetic.  Some have even told me that what I have to say sometimes has been helpful to them.  But what of that?

To anyone who finds my whining annoying, I apologize.  I admit to using this forum, at first, as a way to speak to someone who would no longer listen to me. It was pointless.  Then I made some real friends – I thought.  But maybe not.  Maybe there is no such thing anymore.

I will try not to annoy anyone with my whining any longer.  I seek no one’s sympathy or empathy.

As I said a while ago:  I write for an audience of one.  ME.  I am sorry if my writing out loud disturbed you.  I will now unintrude.  Again.

Happy New Year.

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